Monday, June 2, 2014

A tribute to the dice (b@st@rds) gods.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled article about the 7th edition to bring you this!

Everyone has the same or very similar view of the dice, they are out to get me while saving the opponent. And we all have those battles where if only the dice had rolled statistically, or better or as good as the other guy we could have won. Since we all have the stories and can commiserate I thought I would share a couple of my tales of what has stuck out to me over my 10+ years of gaming.

took me too long to figure out the cube was a die too...

When I started playing I decided I was going to make a diorama of a sacrifice to the dice gods in order to appease them and help my dice rolls. (It as valid of an idea as I have seen/hear of) I used lots of bits and several broken models, which were at the time beyond my skill to save, and created a bloody sacrifice. It was (in my mind) a bog with a central high ground with one of my dice placed on it. Surrounding it were various patches of swampy water, provided by elmers glue and some paint, ( the finish had a glossy look, sudo waterish, again the best I could do at the time) In the water and amongst the scattered trees were the models in various states of repair trying to claw their way to the die (singular of dice). I was very pleased with the result and I took it whenever I went to battle. At some point along the way I lost it, and that is now the reason I blame for all my bad dice rolls all these years later.

This story is about someone else who I fought on several occasions down in Chattanooga back at the American Comic and Cards and later versions of the same store. He was an orc player and he was infamous for rolling the opposite of the odds. No way in hell he makes that roll wahlah it happens. No way he could fail, he fails. Made for entertaining matches, and happened every time I played him.

Your enemy

Another person I played back in Chattanooga had different sets of dice he used for different rolls, if it was close combat to hit it was the green dice, shooting the blue and so on and so forth. I played him twice I think and it didn't seem to make much of a difference so I wasn't worried about weighted dice. Whenever I asked him about his average rolling with all those dice he said "You should have seen my rolls before I started doing this."

My fellow Fist Full blogger Bob is infamous amongst our friends for 4++ rolls. "Oh I will never roll like that again." Until the next time a unit gives him a 4++ save. Hydra and Phoenix Guard come to mind, as well as his elven characters surving 13 plus S6 attacks.


Onto my particular dice oddities, I believe the smaller the die the better the rolls. I started with dice twice the size of the ones you get in the nifty 3x3x3 cubes and they sucked. I gradually worked my way down to those dice. Now my rolls are much better. Down here in Atlanta I saw some dice half the size of the ones I am using and wanted them immediately, man I could see my dice rolls getting 50% better just like that. I will also switch up my dice if one set is not doing well, the cool side of the pillow if you will. However I do have a monstrous die, its at least a 2" cube stone die that weighs a legit 2lbs at least. (Still Looking For the SOB, I know its around somewhere) It is great for marking turns as it is hard to lose (on the table top not my apartment) and harder to accidentally disturb. I also tend to use it when I am angry with my boys, a "hand of god" rolling if you would. If some models get crushed its just their punishment for sucking. I also tend to roll everything but the number I need to beat. If I need 3s and I roll 20 dice there might only be one 3 in the whole set, plenty of 4, 5 and 6s so usually the odds work out at the lower numbers but when its a 5 or 6 forget about it. I  have also recently started rolling my character's attacks with the boys and using other dice, I find this rolling is really good for pointing fingers at which models suck, because clearly it isn't my dice rolling or strategy that sucks. Oh and cannons hate me, rolling an artillery dice equals guaranteed failure. In multiple Dwarven battles shooting two cannons 5-6 times each = nothing but FAIL. And now that grapeshot is an arty dice forget about it, riddle me 2 grapeshot attacks Batman, riddle me that! On a good note, I have earned the moniker "Dead Eye" playing IG/AM. I had deadly aim with a Leman Russ Battle Cannon, most of the time I was rolling low enough on scatter to negate it; however one time I wanted to shoot target A but "I couldn't see it" so I had to shoot target B, right in front of target A. Scatter carried the blast right where I wanted it, target A. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the enemies of the Imperium from that.

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