Friday, July 18, 2014


To continue on a FistFull's IG/AM splurge, I present this.

name plate (Judgement)

With the dearth (complete lack for you Ork players out there) of posts by me you would think Bob wasn't the only one abroad. I have had little time for hobby time down here in Atlanta. But when I have found 5 mins and a little inspiration I have been working. I finished the bundle of IG/AM i got and decided on a paint scheme.

Text reads (132nd) I will add armor kill tally's as the Judgement earns them

This is a Leman Russ Vanquisher whose name is Judgement of the 132nd regiment (other text on the turret) Primary color is the dark grey. I wanted to do something a little  different and something I have never done before (like paint a tank). So I added some camo after the idea of WWII warships, particularly the Brits. The tank has patches of a light and dark grey and then lines that randomly cross it which will change directions randomly. The idea behind this camo scheme is not to hide the ship (or tank) but to make it harder for the enemy to make out the profile of the big steel target which is usually easy to find. Whether or not I actually achieved this remains to be seen.

Say hello to my little friend(s)-finally remembered to add the sponson weapons
So I was shocked putting together my first tank that I would be able change out weapons at will without any work. So I haven't glued in any of the weapons, including the main cannon. But I think it will mainly run as seen above (Vanquisher, lascannon, and two heavy bolters)

close up of the stripes
So I am about 60% done, and the lines need a lot of cleaning up, along with adding the orange stripes (which would remove any chance of 'hiding' the Judgement) and before anyone gets too impressed I drew on the black lines. I still have to add the stripes on the turret and add some grit and dirt here and there as I am able.

I have worked up a bit of a history for the Judgement but, I am waiting on either a battle report or completion of the paint job (hahaha that's never going to happen) to release and really work on the history. I have really enjoyed painting this guy up, but damn that's a lot of area to cover.

Each of the stripes is outlined with the black you just can't see it. The camo is so good it camo's itself.

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Astra Militarum

Howdy folk!

Bob here with some thoughts on the new Imperial Guard Codex. I will break it down thusly: Changes to the lore and the stupendous changes to the terminology. I will also to a brief breakdown of the new units and some of the changes to existing units and systems (i.e. orders, weapons, etc). Lastly I will highlight my own forces of the Imperial Guard. So let us get started.

Astra what? Right out of the gate we have the first huge change to the dog soldiers of the Golden Throne, the name. Now we can speculate all day as to why GW did this (copyrights), but the change in the name of the army isn't the only name change we have. Astra Militarum comes on the heels of the Tempestus Scions (Storm Troopers) we also have the Commissariat being changed to the Officio Prefectus, as well as some other changes to names for other organizations. Lore related changes really aren't that significant. We get a overview of how the Imperium musters Guard forces to face a threat as well as some new snippets about various campaigns. Perhaps one of the biggest changes is the relegation of any regiment without plastics to a small artwork and a blurb about the regiment. As of the time this article was written, a lot of the other regiments are still available to order via the GW Online Store. This includes a lot of the older metal models, mostly Infantry and Officers with a few heavy/special weapons for the Tallarn, Valhallan, Mordian, and the "newer" Vostroyan. This drive by highlight also includes ranges like the Elysians and Death Korps that Forge World produce. Something that really bugged me about this was the artwork and description of the Tanith 1st. Let me be clear, the Gaunt's Ghosts series is one of my favorites the Black Library has ever done. I am fairly well versed in the lore of the Ghosts. Nowhere in the description is Colonel Commisar Guant mentioned. Nowhere. The artwork, while cool, does not depict what Abnett has described as the combat uniform of the Ghosts.

Seriously, does anyone actually check the source material?

It is things like this that take away from the pretty awesome presentation GW has been putting forth for army books (at $50 they had better be top notch). The rest of the book falls in line with current GW layout . Unit entries with descriptions and pictures. Nothing really to comment on here. The model section is pretty standard as well. The inclusion of a non 'eavy metal painted army seems to be something that is being worked into more and more Codecies and Army Books. In this case we get a converted up Cadian army. It is a well painted army with some interesting conversion work. Now on to the rules.

As most of you who have read my book reviews know, I am not big on going into detail here. Other sites crunch the numbers and do breakdowns in way more detail and effort than I really care to. So that being said I will do a brief rundown of my impressions on some of the bigger changes. So what is new? Well we of course get a Warlord Traits table, which true to form, is overall pretty meh. New orders are a welcome addition, "First Rank, Fire! Second Rank, Fire!" still being my favorite. I always picture that scene from the movie Zulu as Stanley Baker and Michael Caine give the same order. The Tank Commander offers some interesting options for those inclined to be tread heads or anyone looking to boost the effectiveness of their Russ formations. Storm Troopers have been changed over to Scions and finally get a Command Squad option, though they do not get the "orders" from either Militarum Tempestus or the old Storm Troopers. The Taurox and Prime have been added as transport options for multiple units, though I am really not a fan of those glass cannons. Psykers have been brought in line with the options to choose lores. Priests are also close, if not exact, to the equivelent entries in the new Sisters "book". The new artillery vehicle, the Wyvren, offers a relatively cheap option to rain S4 blast templates down on some poor blob of a unit. The prospect of a unit of three of these targeting a unit in power armour would be enough to give said unit pause. The abhumans got a little bit of attention with the addition of Bullgryns or as some people have been calling them, "Banegryns".

 These are Ogryns with Carapace Armour and kitted out for melee or support. One options gives you what amounts to mobile cover for anything behind the unit and a short range grenade launcher or a power maul and 5++ save and To Wound re rolls for Hammer of Wrath. Most everything else in the book either remained the same or had some cost adjustments. Enginseers got a potentially cool new ability in the form of granting a vehicle Power of the Machine Spirit. Priests, Commissars, and Enginseers are all HQ choices that don't occupy a space on the FOC. Bodyguards are also missing from Company Command Squad upgrades as well. Speaking of HQ choices and such, gone are the vast majority of special characters. Marbo, Al'Rahem, Chenkov, Mogul Kamir, and Sargent Bastonne all disappeared from the book (and Gaunt was yet again left out). So basically this brings the book in line with the new "policy" of if it doesn't have a GW made model, you can't take it.

I think this edition of the Guard is a fairly solid book. Want a "red tide" style army of foot sloggers? You got it. Want a mechanized force? You got it. Want a armoured company with infantry support? You got it. Want an army based on something other than Cadians or Catachans? Not so much. At least not easily or "cheaply" from GW or Forge World. Nothing much major was added nor taken away from the army. Now I can hear some of you saying "but Bob, they took away all of those artillery vehicles!" and I get where you are coming from. That being said, lets be realistic for a moment. Those models where never going to be made plastic since doing so would be stepping all over Forge World turf. The models are still available from Forge World as are the rules for them. As much bitching and moaning that went on over this removal I would wager most of the loudest voices are the same people who had no intention of ever purchasing them in the first place. It sucks anytime an army looses a unit option, but at least the models and rules are still available. The new Wyveren is a potentially nasty customer, and the availability of cheap, effective psykers in the form of the Primaris is likely to turn a few heads. I am liking the new orders and the inclusion of a Tank Commander is a welcome one (though his usefulness is somewhat debatable). I also think that GW missed a lot of opportunities model and lore wise. I think the time has come for the Catachans to get a new plastic sculpt that makes them look slightly more realistic and not like a bunch of steroid abusing Rambo clones. I think there also is room to see some of the older metal regiments get brought into the age of plastic. I personally would love to expand the small forces of Tallarns, Valhalans, Vostroyans, and Ghosts that my Dad and I own. Hell, plastic Steel Legion would certainly have been a buy for me had they been made. Lore wise GW dropped the ball yet again in bringing the universe that the Black Library has created for an army into it's Codex. I am of course speaking of the complete lack of female Guard. The Ciaphas Cain novels as well as the Ghosts and other novels all feature prominent female characters as members of the Imperial Guard both as foot soldiers and officers. To me, this is a huge missed opportunity to both broaden the appeal of the game and to take some of the best stories written for 40K and make them part of the tabletop experience.

Lastly here are just a few examples of my own Guard force, the 152nd Cadian Grenadiers. I plan on doing a more in depth focus on my army in the near future so for now I will just show some of the things I have been working on recently. From left to right top to bottom we have the following: Company Commander, Guardsman, Plasma Gunner, plastic Commissar, Regimental Standard, Tank Commander, and lastly one of the new Scions.

That is it for now, folks. Stay tuned for more articles dealing with the Guard in the near future. I will be bringing these guys to the table top in force hopefully in the next month. Till next time, happy gaming!

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Trip to France June-July 2014

Hey folks,

Long time no post from me. As always, the summer months mean field work season for me as an archaeologist. For most of June and the first bit of July I once again had the pleasure to work in the lovely Auvergne of France and take a week of vacation in Paris. One of the many great things I get to do outside of work is take some time to scope out the gaming scene both in Paris and in the city of Clermont-Ferrand. I am happy to report that GW as well as Warmahordes, Infinity, and various historical systems are all alive and well. So allow me to give some of my observations about the miniatures gaming scene in Paris and the Auvergne based on the slice of it I saw.

Couldn't turn a corner without seeing this.

Games Workshop: Let me start off by giving a huge shout out to the folks at Games Workshop: Clermont-Ferrand and manager Simon especially. On the one day off from work that I had I popped over to the Games Workshop while I was in Clermont. I had visited last year and I was pleasantly surprised that the manager remembered me! We talked for over an hour about the hobby and how his store has been doing in the year since my last visit. I was very pleased to hear that he has developed a fairly large regular crowd that comes in to his shop. I have to also mention that these were some of the nicest folks I have met hanging out at a Game shop in the middle of the day. I walked in and was greeted by the large group in the store who were working on a large city fight table. When they found out I was from out of the country they were very surprised to see me in the shop, but very welcoming. My spoken French is passable, but not developed enough to hold a very in depth conversation about the hobby, but luckily Simon speaks very good English. With the release of the new Ork Codex he was organizing a narrative campaign based on an Ork invaison of a Imperial world. This would feature the work in progress city table as well as several Ork themed components. All of the scenery game from GW itself at the request of the store.

Basis for their new board. Photo from Facebook page of the store

 The campaign itself sounded pretty awesome and well thought out with each game having a definite impact on the overall narrative as well as future games. Simon as well a few of the player offered to loan me an army if I would like to get a game in, but alas my schedule would not permit. Maybe next year I can get a few games in.

The GW in Clermont-Ferrand as well as the Paris 6e are slightly larger than the ones I have been to in the U.S., but not by much. Table space was limited. In talking with Simon he said that the typical games in his shop are 750 to 1000 points in order to get more people playing. The independent shops I visited in Paris, Starplayer and Night Drop, had slightly more space and no space at all. Starplayer has a very nice selection of GW products as well as board games and other miniature systems like Warmahordes, Infinity, etc. Prices at these shops seemed to be retail or slightly under. Starplayer had a selection of individual models and units, both painted and not, available for purchase at very good prices compared to the new boxes.

I of course ended up making a few purchases. On the GW side of things I purchased a box of the new Ogrys, a Space Marine Master of Relics, a new Ork Mek for my Dad, a box of the new Chaos Marine Raptors, and a metal Prince Althran on foot for the High Elves.  I also picked up a box of Conquest Games plastic Norman Knights. The Ogryns will be featured in a upcoming article or two I plan to do about the Guard in the near future and the Normans will be in a long overdue article on historical miniatures gaming in the near future.

Until next time, folks! Happy Gaming!

I will leave you with a few photos from my archaeological work at a medieval house in France.

The view from the remains of a medieval hilltop fort I hope to one day excavate.

The residue from a possible hearth and a fragment of metal.

Medieval spindle whorl

Expanded excavations. Seen here is the collapsed wall of a possible barn in the foreground and a corridor and room in the background

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

The 132nd Myrmidons "The Stonewall Regiment"

So as promised here is the start of my first Imperial Guard Regiment. I bought one of the Cadian Defense Force bundle packages so I have a lot of models to build. Start with the basic guardsmen, found some of the gun poses to be wonky and continuing the GW mantra of models that only work in one pose. However on the plus side there seems to be a lot more bits which has me excited.

A couple pics of my two paint scheme possibilities. I already have a favorite but wanted to see what everybody/anybody thought. I spent 30 mins getting these two guys painted.

Front with dark grey armor light grey fatigues

back with same paint scheme

"stormtrooper, light grey armor, dark grey fatigues

eff this pic, it would not cooperate with the article

So I like the basic color scheme goes with the Guard mass production. Orange is a way to spice it up. Got a lengthy if unproven background for my men. 

They come from a large binary star system, with two suns, Myram & Dynox so the system is known as Myrmidox. 18 planets total, 4 or them are capable of supporting life, while several others have been colonized but various factors lead them to be lightly settled (relatively, only a few hundred million people on them) The Myrmidox System lays in the galatic south in the Segmentum Tempestus near the Reductus Sector. Being near a internal border has been dangerous with many orkish invasions with a WAAGGHH (not to be confused with a WWWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH) swinging through every couple decades. They have also been attacked a couple times by the Nids. And one of the planets may or may not have some living automatons on them. Also coming out of the Reductus Sector are several smaller alien species, including an expansionist arachnid species (TBD), as well as the troublesome Hrud, if i can find some more info on them to bring in to the story line. 
Platoon Command Squad, 1st Infantry Squad, 3 autocannons and a Chimera (name to come later)

  Besides the 132nd I have named and come up with a little back ground on a few other honored regiments from the Myrmidox system, and I might break down more about the system later too after more pics of finished assembly and more painting. Again comment on which color scheme you prefer. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Current State of Things

So a couple updates about things going on here at the blog. Bob has left the country again for another indeterminate amount of time, without so much as a good bye. So that leaves me and I have been exceedingly busy at work-damnit I need a raise. And I have a lot of stuff going on here in Atlanta, none of it GW related so I am a bit sparse on material. So I am throwing up some pics of current models I am working on. As some of you have seen before, here chaos is one of my smallest armies but I am taking my time to paint them up nice. Going for the cold-icy look. Also haven't done a blue army so it gets some variety in my painting.

These four guys are about 60-70% done. Some more highlights and clean ups as well as the 'ice' to add. Just a couple layers of blue and then the cloaks are brown, with a later of a flesh tone, then a top layer of bleached bone or whatever it is now.

So this is the final product I am pushing towards.

As far a projects/blogs in the future I am hoping to start building my Astra Militarum force. Hoping to get some guardsmen to assemble and start testing color schemes. Really want to do a kinda tau-esque paint job on them. What I mean there is a techy paint job- the major colors will be soft with some nice splashes to stand out. Will probably do an article once I have them and start on the lore. Then after that some start to the paint schemes with more lore, then hopefully sometime soon a finished product of something I like.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Obligatory Article for 7th Edition and the Hobby Part 2 (WARNING!! CONTAINS COPIOUS CURSING)


Greetings kind readers. Today's article is a rant/opinion piece. I don't often launch into rants where my beloved hobby is concerned. I like to think that I take most things in stride. There are some aspects to this new rule set for 40K that have gotten me a bit bothered though and I feel the need to exercise my right to take to my blog and complain about them. No I am not jumping ship from 40k or anything, and I have plenty of things that I like about this edition (some of which I will discuss). These are my first impressions after reading through the rules. I will do a more updated post after I get about five or six games in.  So lets begin the fun.

Daemonolgy and Summoning

This about sums up Daemon summoning for me. From Pinterest via Google
As the picture above states, on a scale of 1 to fuck off, I give the ability to summon Deamons a solid "fuck off". Don't get me wrong, certain armies should have this ability in some form (Chaos and Daemons obviously as well as Radical Inquisitors). Yes, the chances of Perils happening are increased for armies not of the Daemonic variety, but come the fuck on. Not only is this a potentially game breaking ability, it makes very little sense lore wise. Before you say "but Bob, psykers run the risk of Daemonic possession just by using the warp, and anyone can fall victim to the lures of Chaos" or any other feeble ass argument as to why your Space Marine Librarian suddenly has thrown all of his training and loyalty to the Emperor out the window, I get what you are trying to say. It is always a possibility that Brother Librarian Schmucky McGee has succumbed to the lure of the Dark Gods and decided that summoning a hoard of the Imperium's greatest enemy is a good idea, or that he somehow screwed up and Daemons have managed to breakthrough. That being said, is it really a probability? I don't think so. The way the psychic powers are described is that each lore is a reflection of the training a psyker has received or is innately talented in. Forgive me for saying so, but I don't think Space Marines or the Guard actively teach their battle psykers how to entreat the creatures of the warp into coming to their aid. Only radical Inquisitors have ever been described as actively harnessing the powers of Chaos in the form of creating a Daemonhost. Even then, it is a Daemon bound to a physical vessel and not something free to run around on its' own. To me the inclusion of Daemonology for everyone is nothing but a shameless way to drum up sales of Daemon kits. If you care to dispute this with me I will happily provide you with primary source references in both Codex and Black Library form as to why this is a nonsensical move lore wise. Part of my day job is academic research so attempt to throw down with me on a lore issue without doing your research at your own peril. Yes, that makes me sound like a bit of an asshole, but when you expect others to, and are expected yourself to provide robust primary and secondary sources of information when you make a claim, well it tends to carry over into your everyday life.

Unbound Armies

 Now when I first read about this on the net as part of the torrent of rumors about 7th, my gut reaction was something like "what the absolute fuck!?". This has since been toned down to indifference at worst and mild interest at best. Taking a Unbound army is something that both players have to agree upon. Thank goodness. In my little corner of the hobby world we have a very "beer and pretzels" mindset when it comes to gaming. That is to say, most of us are more interested in a fun game rather than winning. After I thought about it for a while, I came to the conclusion that the threat of showing up to game night and being blindsided by facing a all Riptide army or armored company was fairly slim. Do I think that Unbound armies represent a massive source of fun ruining exploitation? Absolutely. Do I also think that they provide a source of narrative driven game play that can be fun for everyone? You betcha. Say you want to recreate a Guard armored column trying to make it through a kill zone of enemy air power with minimal anti air support. I think that would be a rather fun scenario for two or more people to iron out and play. It also provides an avenue of new players to get their collections on the table more quickly. As long as all parties agree on what lists are going to be taken and know what they are getting into, I have no problem with Unbound armies. Do I want to go up against one with what I normally take? Hell no. Would I be interested in taking one myself? Possibly.

Psychic Phase

Or the 40k Magic Phase lite as I like to think of it. As readers of this blog may already know, I have some issues with the current Magic system of Fantasy.A lot of those issues stem from the spells themselves, but some of them stem from the mechanics of the system. The mechanics of it are fairly simple. Like I stated above about Unbound armies, I don't see massive exploitation of psykers being a huge issue in my gaming group. Do I see rampant exploitation of psykers being a issue on a wider scale? Absolutely. I think the biggest issues I have with the system come from how Deny the Witch works. If I understood the rules correctly, you have to negate all of the opposing player's successful rolls in order to negate a power. This makes no sense to me. It should only require cancelling out enough successful rolls so that the player fails to generate the necessary warp charges. Negating a shit ton of 4+s with 6s is difficult enough as is. I also think it is ridiculous that you can potentially negate the activation of fore weapons. I think only other psykers should be able to try that. I am also on the fence about the ability to negate abilities that are not targeting your own models (i.e. blessings). It would make sense if you have psykers in your army, but random squad of Guardsmen shouldn't be able to do that. I also see several armies getting screwed by the lack of psykers or good psykers. Tau, Dark Eldar, and Necrons will have a tough time trying to Deny (but fuck the Necrons, they deserve it).

Overall Presentation

Overall I think the presentation of these books is of a pretty high quality. I like the separation of the various sections (pictures, lore, and rules). What I don't like is the massive reuse of artwork as well as the somewhat shitty photo orientations. Now when I complain about the artwork it isn't about the quality of the choices. I love the art that they have in these books. What I am disappointing in is the lack of new work. The orientation of the photos in the "hobby" book is vexing in the extreme to me. I HATE the counterclockwise, large scale photos that they have used. It sucks in Visions and it sucks here. I have to say that I really like the special rules section now being located towards the back of the rule book with the reference section. It should make looking those damn things up a lot easier now.

So What Do I Like?

I do like some of the changes. Honest, I do! The changes to Jink are more of a benefit than a hindrance I think. Being able to get a Jink on turn 1 is a welcome ability. I also like  overflow wounds from a challenge spilling out into the combat. It just makes sense that if your Blood Thirster or whatever just wrecks a fool that it would start laying in to said fool's squad. I like the new rules for all of the terrain pieces as well. The whole deciding what weapons fire first is something I think most people already did. That or roll everything at once and just use separate dice for different weapons. I think the changes to Flying Monstrous Creatures make sense overall. "Hits" shouldn't force a grounding check. My first reaction to the vehicle damage table change is positive. Time will tell on a lot of these things and I am sure there is a lot of stuff that will pop up in game that I have missed here. So let me bottom line this mofo. Rather than taking a step forward, I believe GW took several lurches to the side with this edition. I liked 6th as far as the rules (and most everything else) was concerned and to me this edition is basically 6.5 in all but name. In my little corner of the gaming world I don't see the multitude of broken, bullshit exploits being used. If they are, they will be dealt with rather swiftly I would imagine. Overall I don't think this will be such a broken pile of shit the internet currently seems to think it will be so long as players understand the type of games they will be playing. If you have played in a group for any real length of time you will likely have picked up on who will bring a summoning list to the table and who won't. 


Don't look at GW for robust FAQs. From Pinterest via Google
Oh, you were expecting well thought out and comprehensive FAQs that were developed alongside the new rule set? Dumb ass. GW ain't got no candy for you. That is all I am going to say about that.

John's Reactions as a New Player 

Wow, psychic phase broke as hell. This is about to become a bunch of glass cannons throwing dice around. On offense you have a 50% chance of generating a token, on defense you a 17% chance of removing one. Oh and as a defender already behind the dice you have to remove all the generated tokens to stop a power. Never mind that the power needs 4 tokens and you removed 3, it still goes off on the one apparently. Otherwise I see a lot of the powers as being broke, mix and match power selection is broke as hell too. So teleportation or whatever into the heart of a swarm, nova then have another psyker lift you out no problem. Also summoning daemons, dumb dumb dumb. Some of the stuff I saw in here made me go nope, do not want I will stay in fantasy land. Too many ways to exploit and unless you build to stop you are hosed.

Vehicles, last time I played there were no hull points, in which case I would have a similar problem to the stuff i mentioned elsewhere, too easy to exploit. Now you glance a couple times and the problem takes care of itself.

Way too much movement in this game. Movement phase you can move, shooting phase you can move, physic phase you can use powers to move, assault phase you can move. So many fucking rules on moving, all the different types of movements and if you do this you cant do that, except when you have this rule this rule or this rule. This rule half counters this rule but not really, only always bs. Reading all these rules made 40k seem like where hobbyist with ADHD go to play, also seems extremely liberal too, in a way. Well its not your fault you suck, its somebody else's so we are giving you rules so that your army can do whatever you want with it. Is your army too slow, too shooty, taking too much damage, your tanks not strong enough, your inf not beefy enough, your peen not big enough, don't worry there's a rule for that!!!! Seriously look no farther than them throwing the FOC out the window, don't like building a 'balanced' army, you don't have to anymore, its ok do whatever you want. GW needs to stop trying to please everyone with everyone's army being the brokest shit of the month. It seemed like every rule out there I was seeing ways to exploit the *ish* out of. As a long time fantasy player, I had no problem playing random people because you knew what you were going to get; now starting off I have no intention of playing random people in 40k too much opportunity for BS, and it wont even be fudging the rules, it will just be the application of dumber and dumberer rules. There is too much homogeneity in this game. You can build each army to do what another army can do, it loses too much flavor when everyone gets flyers, and big ass walkers, and cheap troops, and good shooting. Want to be good at shooting take any army, want to be good at combat take any army, yes even the Tau aren't bad, want to move around real quick take whatever army you want to build a broke ass army your opponent can't fight take whatever army you want, there is a way to make it broke. Psychic ability seems like the only real definer in this game and then most factions get it and only Necrons and Tau don't. Oh wait don't like that you army doesn't have something, just take an ally. doesn't matter if it doesn't make sense, GW just wants to sell more models so they are going to keep changing the rules to allow you to take whatever you want as long as make more money they don't care about the integrity of the game.

Seriously after reading the rules, I will spend a vast majority of my time and money in fantasy, I will probably dabble a bit in 40k but it now has no draw for me, nothing that makes it stand out from other hobby games. I did like some things, the new smaller books is a much better option. I will say one think that would balance out a lot of my beef would be if it was alternating phases, Player 1 movement, Player 2 movement, Player 1 shooting etc etc. This would balance out all the movement in my opinion. That way when its your turn you aren't four movement phases behind. Just my 2 cents.

Monday, June 2, 2014

A tribute to the dice (b@st@rds) gods.

We interrupt your regularly scheduled article about the 7th edition to bring you this!

Everyone has the same or very similar view of the dice, they are out to get me while saving the opponent. And we all have those battles where if only the dice had rolled statistically, or better or as good as the other guy we could have won. Since we all have the stories and can commiserate I thought I would share a couple of my tales of what has stuck out to me over my 10+ years of gaming.

took me too long to figure out the cube was a die too...

When I started playing I decided I was going to make a diorama of a sacrifice to the dice gods in order to appease them and help my dice rolls. (It as valid of an idea as I have seen/hear of) I used lots of bits and several broken models, which were at the time beyond my skill to save, and created a bloody sacrifice. It was (in my mind) a bog with a central high ground with one of my dice placed on it. Surrounding it were various patches of swampy water, provided by elmers glue and some paint, ( the finish had a glossy look, sudo waterish, again the best I could do at the time) In the water and amongst the scattered trees were the models in various states of repair trying to claw their way to the die (singular of dice). I was very pleased with the result and I took it whenever I went to battle. At some point along the way I lost it, and that is now the reason I blame for all my bad dice rolls all these years later.

This story is about someone else who I fought on several occasions down in Chattanooga back at the American Comic and Cards and later versions of the same store. He was an orc player and he was infamous for rolling the opposite of the odds. No way in hell he makes that roll wahlah it happens. No way he could fail, he fails. Made for entertaining matches, and happened every time I played him.

Your enemy

Another person I played back in Chattanooga had different sets of dice he used for different rolls, if it was close combat to hit it was the green dice, shooting the blue and so on and so forth. I played him twice I think and it didn't seem to make much of a difference so I wasn't worried about weighted dice. Whenever I asked him about his average rolling with all those dice he said "You should have seen my rolls before I started doing this."

My fellow Fist Full blogger Bob is infamous amongst our friends for 4++ rolls. "Oh I will never roll like that again." Until the next time a unit gives him a 4++ save. Hydra and Phoenix Guard come to mind, as well as his elven characters surving 13 plus S6 attacks.


Onto my particular dice oddities, I believe the smaller the die the better the rolls. I started with dice twice the size of the ones you get in the nifty 3x3x3 cubes and they sucked. I gradually worked my way down to those dice. Now my rolls are much better. Down here in Atlanta I saw some dice half the size of the ones I am using and wanted them immediately, man I could see my dice rolls getting 50% better just like that. I will also switch up my dice if one set is not doing well, the cool side of the pillow if you will. However I do have a monstrous die, its at least a 2" cube stone die that weighs a legit 2lbs at least. (Still Looking For the SOB, I know its around somewhere) It is great for marking turns as it is hard to lose (on the table top not my apartment) and harder to accidentally disturb. I also tend to use it when I am angry with my boys, a "hand of god" rolling if you would. If some models get crushed its just their punishment for sucking. I also tend to roll everything but the number I need to beat. If I need 3s and I roll 20 dice there might only be one 3 in the whole set, plenty of 4, 5 and 6s so usually the odds work out at the lower numbers but when its a 5 or 6 forget about it. I  have also recently started rolling my character's attacks with the boys and using other dice, I find this rolling is really good for pointing fingers at which models suck, because clearly it isn't my dice rolling or strategy that sucks. Oh and cannons hate me, rolling an artillery dice equals guaranteed failure. In multiple Dwarven battles shooting two cannons 5-6 times each = nothing but FAIL. And now that grapeshot is an arty dice forget about it, riddle me 2 grapeshot attacks Batman, riddle me that! On a good note, I have earned the moniker "Dead Eye" playing IG/AM. I had deadly aim with a Leman Russ Battle Cannon, most of the time I was rolling low enough on scatter to negate it; however one time I wanted to shoot target A but "I couldn't see it" so I had to shoot target B, right in front of target A. Scatter carried the blast right where I wanted it, target A. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth amongst the enemies of the Imperium from that.